Hey, it’s me –– Danica Burpee –– the founder and creator of Know Better Life. If you follow me on Instagram, then you likely already know that I went through a serious bout of postpartum anxiety after my first child was born, I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, and I attribute my current healthy mental state to medication, sweaty exercise and the toolkit that I am about to share with you. This, of course, is MY toolkit, and yours may look different. Our mental health is as unique as our physical health and who we are as individuals. I highly recommend that you consult your health care provider to create a plan and a toolkit that works best for you.
Through years of therapy, and specifically one year of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, I have gotten to know my anatomy well, and am aware of my red flags; the signs that I should not ignore when my anxiety is creeping in either through my thoughts or physical symptoms.
My physical red flags are:
- Tight, sore jaw
- Deep vertical line between my eyebrows
- Upset stomach (often accompanied by nausea)
- Stiff neck and shoulders
My cognitive (mental) red flags are:
- Frequent worries popping up throughout the day
- Irritability (short on patience)
- Feeling “sensitive” (needing people to be nice or soft with me)
- Thoughts of doom (what if something really bad happens)
- Trouble focusing on tasks at hand or positive thoughts
Often the red flags start to crop up, and I push them to the side. One sign doesn’t impact me greatly, but when I let them accumulate it can lead to a full blown panic attack if I don’t use my toolkit first.
MY ANXIETY TOOLKIT
1) Sweaty exercise
This was my doctor’s very first recommendation when she diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder. At the time, I couldn’t imagine walking a block, but I forced myself to get short bouts of moderate to intense exercise in every day, and the benefits were undeniable. Clearer thoughts, calmer mind and body, more focus, and a sense of relaxation post-exercise. Thank you to the feel-good endorphins and hormones like dopamine, serotonin and norepinephrine that are released during exercise.
2) Medication
I was opposed to (and terrified of) taking medication for my anxiety for years. I thought that it would change me, potentially turn me into a ‘zombie’ that would be judged by my friends and family. In the darkest hours of postpartum anxiety, I was left with almost no choice but to trust my doctor’s and therapists’ recommendations. I am grateful every day that I did. The selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor that I have been taking for the last 5 years did change me, for the better. It returned my brain chemistry to the balance that I had always been used to, and made me feel like myself again. I had ZERO side effects, and I know that this isn’t the case for everyone, but I am sharing MY experience here. Talk to your healthcare provider about the right option for you.
3) Distraction
Some days my worry thoughts creep in when I am not busy, and I can’t push them away. My favourite form of distraction is “funny animal videos” on Youtube –– they make me laugh every single time! The laughter releases my stress and worry, and I almost instantly feel better. Other forms of distraction that work for me are: phoning a friend, following a yoga class (in person or virtually), listening to a meditation, doing a puzzle, knitting or playing a musical instrument –– almost any activity that requires a lot of focus and attention to master. I tend to stay away from scrolling social media feeds as this stimulation can make my symptoms worse.
4) Immerse in water
Being in water helps to calm the senses of sensitive people (hi, that’s me too). A very full bath works –– I often plunge my head under –– and a pool or fresh water swim can be even better.
5) Breathe fresh air
There are different types of breathing exercises that can help to calm your nervous system, and box breathing is one of my favourites. I find that fresh air (outside) is the best for clearing my head and reducing any feelings of worry or anxiousness. Take a moment to pause and absorb the natural blue light or sunshine, both of which can have mood boosting and calming effects.
6) Say it out loud
There is brain science proving the positive power of repeating affirming statements to yourself out loud. {You can say them in your head, but they are much more effective when said out loud.} When a worry pops up, I might say right away “Go away! I don’t need you” or “that’s not true”. Some days repeating mantras like “I’ve got this!” or “You’ve been here before, you can do this” help me to feel empowered.
7) Eliminate fuel triggers
Caffeine, alcohol and sugar do not serve me well when I am anxious or noticing my red flags. I do my best to clean up my diet at the first signs of anxiety. Low blood sugar can lead to feelings of shakiness which can trigger worry thoughts, so keeping my blood sugar stable is key. I eat small and healthy meals every few hours, and include protein and healthy fats in every meal. Heidi Seidman, R.H.N. has great tips and meal ideas for the whole family.
8) Lean on supports
Like many of you, I forget to take my daily vitamins. When my red flags catch my attention, I make sure to use all of my supports around the home. The ones that I rely on the most are supportive supplements for my adrenal (stress-related) glands, sleep aids, my iron and B vitamin supplements and probiotics. Some of these are from my naturopath and others from Body Energy Club. For more detailed information about my supplement choices, check out this course.
I also love my serenity and vetiver essential oils for calming my nervous system, and for sleep. Please ask Annika Buckle all of your essential oil questions.
9) Tell someone
It is not up to your friends or family to make you feel better when you are feeling anxious, but it can be helpful to let them know how you are feeling. When my anxiety ramps up to a level that I cannot ignore, I let my spouse know. Most often I say, “I want to let you know that I am feeling really anxious. I don’t need you to do anything, I just needed to let you know”. I ask him not to try to fix it, but just to be aware. Some days I have to ask him for my list of tools, which I have written down on a piece of paper by my bed (and now I have this article to remind me!)
My note to you
Please remember that you are NOT alone — even when you feel like you are. Share your struggles with someone that you trust, and please tell your healthcare provider how you are feeling. If your anxiety comes in waves, write down or record yourself in the challenging moments, so that when you have an appointment with your doctor or therapist, you can let them know exactly how you feel during those times.
Lastly, you must know that this is NOT your fault. We are all unique individuals with strengths and challenges, and it is important to embrace and love who you are fully. It’s a work-in-progress, and we are on this journey together.
If you need help, please check for your local resources for mental health support or a crisis line.
In British Columbia, you can visit:
https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/mental-health-substance-use/resources/crisis-line